He is Dead Meat
by ellithea
Summary: Nii-sama heard the news. He is pissed. May God have mercy on the poor guy's soul...
1. 1st kill:He knew

**DISCLAIMER:**

I want Byakuya but I can't have him....because all BLEACH characters are Kubo-sama's property.

**Guys,**

_Ellithea here,this idea just entered my mind and I just wanted to write you enjoy....it will help my writing a lot if you reviewed._

_By the way I have this other story entitled The hottest zanpakutou who ever lived._

_You can check it out if you have time..thanks in advance..  
_

_Ki o tsukete minna-san...._

**ellithea**

_**"He's dead meat"**_

**BY:**

_**ellithea**_

__________________________________________________________________________________

No one would have thought that this day would come.

The great noble Kuchiki Byakuya just made a fountain of tea from his mouth,thus splashing it to his fukutaichou's face.

"What?!?is that true?"he asked sharply asked,  
on the tone that will make excalibur dull.

"Hai,taichou,it is as you heard me,Rukia is pregnant"  
he replied tensely while wiping the tea from his face.

"From where you heard this?"he inquired while closing his eyes,and clutching his fist tighter.  
_'He will pay...Oh God knows he will pay....  
No one and that means no one will commit pre-marital sex with my sister and shall live to see another day.'_  
he thought evilly

"It's all over Seiretei sir,I can hear everyone talking about it"  
he answered nervously.  
He can almost taste it,the impending doom that awaits the poor guy.

Byakuya stood up from his chair and headed for the door.

"Taichou where are you going?"  
he asked even though he had an idea were his murderous captain will go.

"I shall cut him"he replied casually as if they are discussing dinner

"Sir why did you removed you haori?"he asked

"I shall not kill him as a captain I will merely kill him because he pointed **HIS BLADE** at my _pride_"with that he disappeared his scarf billowing behind him.

Abarai Renji gulped,that is some nasty reiatsu his captain is emitting.  
He sensed bloodbath.

"May God have mercy on Ichigo's soul"

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**(A/N:Should I continue this?????uhmmm let me know.....thanks...  
hit the review button it will be very much appreciated..thanks-ellithea)**


	2. 2nd kill:The Chase

**DISCLAIMER:**

Kubo-sama is the genius behind BLEACH,definitely not me.

**Guys'**

_Ellithea here,with my 2nd kill,hope you enjoy,  
don't forget to review it keeps me going,thanks by the way to all who reviewed,  
it inspired me!!!  
I'll see you on my reviews page I suppose?_

Peace out!!!!

**ellithea**

_**"He is dead meat"**_

**BY:**

_**ellithea**_

**2nd KILL:The Chase**

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He knew this day would come.

But not soon.  
His little sister is far too young to marry.

She is only 160 or something.  
Yes the winter war is over for about a decade but this...  
this is out of the question.

_'Kurosaki Ichigo,you better pray to all the Gods you know,  
ask them for quick death..........  
because I'm not planning of giving you one_.'  
he thought evilly.

"Ichigo!!!!!"a pineapple-ed hair guy called a shinigami with orange hair.

"What Renji?"he asked

"Hide now you asshole!My captain's on you!"  
he yelled,then landed in-front of Ichigo.  
Well his conscience made him to warn the guy.

Nobody deserves a pinkish death,not even him.

"What?Whats with Byakuya?"he said confused

"Don't play dumb,it ain't cute!"he said while eyeing the surrounding and  
searching for the murderous reiatsu.  
"You banged his sister now he will shred you to ribbons"he continued

Realization hit him,this is bad.  
"How did he know?"

"It's all over Seiretei!Of course he will know"he replied

"But--"he tried to protest but he remembered something,  
he did mention it to a very busty woman.  
"RANGIKU-SAN"

"What you told her?Are you out of your mind?You know that girl will flap her mouth the second you walk away"  
he is nervous now,he felt a pulse and it seems that it is moving opposite to there direction.

"But she said she won't tell"he too is starting to feel terror.

"News for you!She already did"he sarcastically said

"I suggest you go into hiding"

"Change your name"

"Dye your hair"

"Live in the mountains"  
he suggested

"No way,I'm gonna face him like a man"  
he tried too look brave but deep inside he is scared.

An angry cloud of killer petals is not fun.

"Baka!The last time the two of you fought with each other he held back,  
now that he is angry you won't stand a chance!"  
he said but he immediately stop,  
he tried to warn Ichigo but Ichigo continued speaking.

He is coming.

"I don't----"he felt it too,as if the happiness in the world is disappearing.

"WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!!"he shouted,a very dark pink reiatsu is coming there way,even though the source is almost 5 kilometers away his aura is visible.

He is angry.

He will kill him.

"RUN!!!"yelled Renji,the only thing that registers on his mind.

Ichigo was gone in a flash,the punk is scared,he can tell,  
well even he is scared.

His captain arrived before he can run the hell out of there.

"Renji,where is he?"he coldly ask,the tone that can make Ryuujin Jakka freeze.

"Who?Taichou?"he tried playing dumb,  
but his legs are shaking,the spiritual pressure is too much.

"Don't make me repeat my self"he stopped,  
closing his eyes as if controlling himself  
into not slicing Renji to tiny bite sized pieces.

"Where is Kurosaki Ichigo?"he said opening his eyes,  
if glaring can kill,Renji is history.  
"I suggest you tell the truth this time........  
...Senbonzakura and her wielder is quite upset."  
he continued,while tracing Senbonzakura's blade with his finger.

Renji eyed the gesture,he gulped.

It's self preservation.

He pointed the direction where Ichigo went.

"Good"then he shunpoed away.

_Sorry man,I'll bring flowers at your funeral._

Renji thought

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**(A/N:What do you think?please review,I'll look forward to it!!!  
thanks to those who encouraged me to continue,  
atashi wa gambarimasu!!!!-ellithea)  
**


	3. 3rd kill:The Fight

**DISCLAIMER:**

Bleach is not mine.  
All rights are owned by Kubo-sama.I'm just a girl messing around.....(LOL)

**Guys,**

_WOW..._

_Didn't expect "He is dead meat" will be loved!!!thanks guys..you really boost my morale.  
wow,thank you very muuccchhhh!!!!!!Love you all....I'll do my super duper best to make every one of you laugh!!!!YEY!!!!But still I need more reviews more more yey!!!It will really help me to improve!!!Thank you all...._

_3rd KILL is here!!!!_

**ellithea**

_**"He is dead meat"**_

**By:**

_**ellithea**_

**3rd KILL:The Fight**

_________________________________________________________________________________

She knew this day would come.

The motherly captain ran some test on a petite shinigami and assured her that everything is fine.  
She also said that the little Kurosaki is healthy which made the new mother happy.

"Ariagatou gozaimasu.. Unohana-taichou"Rukia said while bowing her head.

"Doitashimashite,don't forget to drink your vitamins and be sure visit me once a month it will help us monitor your condition."the kind captain reminded her patient.

"Of course ma'am...So I'll be off then.."she said turning away.

"Kuchiki Rukia-san"she called back

"Yes"she said while facing the lady

"Have you informed your brother...Kuchiki-taichou about this??"she questioned

"Uhmm...not yet...but..."she replied.  
Well just thinking about it makes her shiver with fear..how can she say it to her perfectionist brother.  
She just can't.  
But of course she needed to.  
If she explained correctly,Byakuya-niisama will understand right???right?Hey..guys...right???

May all the Gods help her on her impossible quest.

"I guess you need to find him and tell him the truth now."the captain said with that unfading smile.

"Maybe...uhmmm...I'll just find the right timing..."she said softly

"I suggest you get on with it...."she pause her smile faded,and here's the deal people when Unohana Retsu's ever sweet smile faded...hell just broke loose."Because Kuchiki-taichou is hunting down the father of that child..."she paused again a sadistic smile crept in her lips"Oh...he just caught the poor boy"

With that all the color vanished from Rukia's face.

Holy Shit.

_Mistress.....Senbonzakura's pissed....she will kill hi---............_

She didn't wait for Sode no Shirayuki to continue her morbid prediction.  
She was gone in a Flash.  
She prayed that Ichigo is just missing some arms and not his life.  
It is the best she can hope.

Unohana-taichou failed to stop the rushing shinigami,she went inside her office and muttered"If things got worse I shall interfere...let's just watch for a moment until things..get interesting..."

Unohana Retsu had once again proven......  
...........that she is one hell of a sadist.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Byakuya's reiatsu flared.

Ichigo almost pissed in his pants.

"Byakuya,let's talk about this..."he shouted frantically,Senbonzakura's blade barely reaching his neck.

Kuchiki Byakuya,sixth division captain,28th head of the Kuchiki house is out for the kill.

"Further talk will be fruitless,kozo"he swinged his sword elegantly yet savagely.  
He will not stop until a bit of a certain strawberry is visible.

"We will tell you I promise...we are about to tell you..."Ichigo blurted out clutching Zangetsu tightly his only means of survival.  
The nobleman stop.A frown is visible in his handsome face.

"Kurosaki Ichigo..you **touched **my sister"he hissed

"I...we love each other...you cannot stop us..."he bravely declared,  
but when he saw Byakuya's eyes narrowed dangerously coward-ness swallowed him alive  
"but please don't kill me.."he said,still on the alert.

_Master,he touched Kia-chan....I will shred that brat to million tiny bite sized pieces!!!!!Let me have him!!!Let me have him.....!!!!!!!_

Senbonzakura is pissed,she loved Rukia as a sister and she as well as her beloved wielder is madly protective over her.  
Without second thought Byakuya released another protective sibling.

Great.

"Chire,Sen---"he didn't finished,Senbonzakura scattered and attacked Ichigo.  
He now concluded that pink is indeed scary and flowers can be used for murder,  
flowers,a result of someone's death?Funny.  
But too bad it is for his own murder case.

"Wha--- Byakuya please calm down!!!!"he yelled while evading the killer petals.  
He evaded but Senbonzakura and Byakuya are determined to put the Strawberry and his **blade** to rest.  
As was he was about to kiss his life goodbye he heard a scream.

"RUN!!!!!"the mother of his child yelled

Byakuya stopped and turn his gaze to his sister,Rukia.

"Rukia!!!"with that Ichigo ran for cover...behind the small frame of Rukia but he also knew,  
that she held the impenetrable shield against Byakuya.

Safe at last.

"Nii-sama"all she said,as she walked towards Byakuya.

"Rukia...what is the meaning of this"he calmly asked Senbonzakura's petals surrounding him.

"Nii-sama,I'am pregnant,we love each other....we are getting married..."

She did it.

She had just dropped the bomb.

Byakuya's eyes twitched.

He can see the tomb of a certain strawberry,un-peacefully resting six feet under.

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**(A/N:YeY!!!!!Thanks for sticking with Ichigo!!Only few chapters remaining,but I'am planning to write a sequel but I'm still thinking about it...what do you think????By the way thanks a lot readers!!!!Hey don't forget to review...tell me what you think!!!Every words really encouraged me to continue!!!!thanks everyone!!!see you next time for the 4th kill!!!!!-ellithea**

**PS:In here Senbonzakura is a girl..for more details read The hottest Zanpakutou who ever lived..it is full with a certain zanpakutou's interesting personality.....LOL)**


	4. 4th kill:Dead Meat

**DISCLAIMER:**

BLEACH is absolutetly Ellithea's favorite anime.  
But Kubo-sama owns it.

**Guys,**

_Ellithea here!!!!Here's the 4th installment of the He is dead meat fic..hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it.  
For those who reviwed the past chapters you guys are awesome!!  
Uhmmm I'm thinking,can I have a 3 digit reviews?100 or something?LOL..  
Well it's just my goal,but if you decided to grant it..then thank you very much..  
__it will really boost my morale to continue writing..._

_thanks a lot guys....._

_Love you all.._

**ellithea**

_**He is dead meat**_

_**by:**_

_**ellithea**_

**4TH KILL:Dead meat**

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Anybody would have thought that this day would come.

Kuchiki Byakuya knew it.  
But the protective brother,even after 5 decades is still not prepared to let go.

"Nii-sama"Rukia said weakly.  
But the noble only looked at her,his shikai's petals flying around him.

"We will tell you..."she paused"But..it seems that news travel..fast..."  
she said while taking a lungful of air.

Nii-sama is pissed.

Ichigo may have pissed on his pants.

This isn't good at all.

What are her options?  
a)Kneel down and beg for Byakuya's forgiveness?

Not quite.

b)Reason that they love each other and pray for Byakuya's compassion?

Maybe.

c)Abandon the strawberry and run for it?

Not an option.

Byakuya's reiatsu flared.  
Rukia gulped.  
She reconsidered.

She became a traitor.  
Option C locked.

Maybe if she handed over Ichigo's head,her brother will calm down.

"Rukia.."the 6th squad captain calmy stated.

Rukia looked at her brother's gorgeous elegant face..  
that is now devilishly handsome.  
It was evident that he is angry.  
If she were a fangirl maybe she will collapse but since she saw his beauty everyday,she is somewhat immune to his noble-ness.

"Hai..Nii-sama"she replied.

Byakuya looked at a cowering orange head.  
"I'am not aware that you and that brat is engaged,or involved in any romantic relationship."

Ichigo managed to answer.  
He needs to protect his life.  
"We are not"  
But it seems that he just managed to shorten it.

"Excuse me?"Byakuya raised an eyebrow,his hand twitching on Senbonzakura's hilt.

"Ichigo..baka.."Rukia murmured.  
Is he insane?He can't tell her nii-sama that everything happened on...  
........ the spur of the moment.

"UHH..I mean.."he retorted realizing that he had just added fuel to the fire.

"Be careful in your answer."Byakuya paused dramatically  
"..Senbonzakura here."he said while sealing Sen back to her original sword form  
"...is quite..upset.."he continued while tracing Senbonzakura's blade to emphasize the point.

"....uhmmm..well it just so happen..when we are drunk.."the mighty strawberry said.  
Why does he have to grab that freaki'n opportunity to get Rukia..maybe the alcohol boost stupidity.

"You took advantage of Rukia's intoxication?Am I correct?"The usual calm and collected voice raised.

I can now picture the next scenes.  
It's not at all..lovely.  
Does Ichigo even have an insurance?

"Yes..I mean no...uhhh-oh..."he tried to redeem himself.  
Kurosaki Ichigo thought of all the possible route of escaping.

'Beg for forgiveness?'

'Lick byakuya's shoes?'

'Use Rukia as human shield?'

'Tell hi---UH-oh...too late.'  
he thought.

_Run as long as there is a piece of land Strawberry!!!!!!!!!!!  
_Senbonzakura said maniacally.

The pinkish doom is here.

The flower of death is coming.

Taste the pretty fury.

"BANKAI...Senbonzakura Kageyoshi"

The end is near.I can almost taste it.

"Nii-sama!!!!"Rukia yelled.  
The pink sensation is overwhelming

"Don't concern yourself with this brat."he looked at his sister's direction  
"..Rukia...It will be over in a second..I shall make his body dust..so that he will vanish from my sight."  
he stated coldly,so cold that it can revived melted ice cream.

"Byakuya!Calm down..please...It's not what you think it is."Ichigo tried to reason  
If licking Byakuya's shoes can save him....  
Then he will become the official licker of his shoes as long as he lived!!!

"Further talk will be fruitless"  
then he commanded the killer petals to strike Ichigo down.

But the strawberry head won't lose that fast.  
"Getsuga tenshou!!"

But Senbonzakura's petals gathered to protect it's master.  
"Weak.."he said

Rukia's eyes widen.

Will she be a widow?

Will little Kurosaki be an orphan?

"Nii-sama!!!!Please stop!!"she begged.

Then the pink clouds swallow Ichigo alive.

.....1 second.......

.....2 seconds......

Now he's dead.

But wait...  
It can't be...  
Or is it?

_Oh I still see bit of him...master...I want him pulvorized...  
_Byakuya's sadistic zanpakutou remarked.

Senbonzakura is one murderous bitch.

"Of course Sen..we shall erase him.."the wielder agreed.

What's with this 2?An evil duo?

"Whaaaa-------"Ichigo managed to catch the last word in Byakuya's sentence.  
Here he is recovering from the pinkish nightmare,thinking that the 28th head of the Kuchiki name is satiated by his wounds.  
But he is wrong.

Dead wrong.

God help him.

"Shukei...Hakuteiken"Byakuya decided to use his final move.

Death is near.  
Pray to all the God's you know.

Little Kurosaki may not see his orange headed father anymore,it's all thanks to uncle Byakuya and aunt Senbonzakura.

"It is still beautiful"a kind voice said.

"Unohana-taichou.."Rukia eyes widen

"The most beatiful technique I've ever seen"she said,praising Byakuya's Hakuteiken

'Yeah right...Its beautiful,but it will be use as an accesory to murder,taichou!!!A strawberry's bloody murder.'  
Rukia screamed in her head.

"Taichou!!Stop him please.!!"Rukia begged.  
Maybe the motherly captain can stop this.

"I can't..It's family matters"she smiled back.

'Aren't you enjoying this too much?And whats with the white blanket you have there?  
For wrapping Ichigo's lifeless body?Holy Shit.'  
Rukia thought that the 4th division captain is a sadist.  
Yup a sadist to the core.  
But she will still bet on her chances  
"Why are you here?Isn't it to stop them?"

Unohana Retsu smiled.  
"Not quite.."

The hope that is dangling on the string snapped.

Kurosaki Ichigo,is done for.

Byakuya is in for the kill.

_You one piece of an insolent strawberry...you have angered me...now feel my flowery fury.....  
_Sen said.

"You shouldn't have brandished that **sword **of yours in the first place..."Byakuya said.  
"**That **should have remained inside your pants"Byakuya hissed.  
"Final words??"he said while ponting his sword at Ichigo.

"I---am....sorry..??"Ichigo stuttered

A red gleam sparked in his eyes,and an evil grin crept in his face.

"Wrong answer.."

Then a flash of light.

"ICHIGO!!!!!!!!!"a blood curling scream can be heard.

He's dead meat.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The burning question:

**IS THIS THE END??????**

(REVIEW NOW AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK...MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA)


	5. 5th kill:Saved Meat?

**DISCLAIMER:**

Fanfic writer ellithea owns BLEACH…in her dreams.

BLEACH rights belongs to the one and only Kubo Tite- sama.

**Guys,**

_MY DEEPEST APOLOGIES!!!!(*ellithea bows*)_

_I know the update is really, really, really late!!! But you know school works been killing me, so I shall extend this story a little bit more than planned to make up!! I hope He's dead meat's 5th installment will make everyone laugh again!!! Thank you guys and as usual reviews will inspire me to write, please keep them coming!!_

_Oh, one more thing, I have this story She is demoted, well it seems that it's not gathering readers. I can say its pretty good, coz some scenes are derived from real life accounts, also things in that novel shall escalate in the next chapters..(evil cue here)!! I will appreciate it if you will give my Harusame a chance. Thank you very much, you are more than welcomed to check it out_

_**ellithea**_

_**He is dead meat**_

**by:**

_**ellithea**_

**5****th**** KILL: Saved Meat?**

**

* * *

**

Everybody knew this day would come.

The day when the gorgeous captain of the 6th, would kill the budding strawberry.  
But something that is completely unexpected happened. After that so much killing intent that can surpass Zaraki's blood-thirst, the strawberry in question is still alive.

"Ichigo!!" the mother of his unborn child yelled while rushing toward his body.

Ichigo can't remember how the hell did he survive the blade of Byakuya's Hakuteiken.  
If he is not mistaken it is called the White Imperial Sword that has superior cutting power, as the article he "google-d" stated.  
"Wha--" all Ichigo can mutter as Rukia smothered him with her arms.

Byakuya looked at the man or creature responsible for the strawberry's untimely salvation.

"Phew that was close.." a rough man's voice said.

Byakuya lowered his gaze and stared at a black fur ball he despised ever since he was a boy.  
"Were- cat, still meddling with my affairs" he said coldly, flashing the black cat a death glare.

"Still rash as ever Byakuya- bo" the cat said while sitting

"Shihouin Yoruichi," he said emphasizing each syllable "I must ask, why did you saved him?"

"Nah, course I would! Ichigo is a former student, it's natural that I'll save his ass," the cat stated matter- of – factly.

"I do not permit it" he said then pointed his sword at the cowering Ichigo "Move, I must kill the impertinent brat," he said while taking steps toward Ichigo.

"Nu- uh, can't do, Byakuya, haven't you heard about sitting down and talking things over?" Yorouichi inquired.

"I have, but I can't seem to remember about it.. as of the moment" he said stubbornly

Yoruichi sighed "Okay, either you let this go for now, or I come out with drastic measures"

Byakuya frowned and narrowed his eyes "Drastic measures?"

"Yes, drastic measures!! I'll do something that you will regret.." she hissed.

_Master, Shihouin Yoruichi is the master of pain and torture…she might attack you in your weak spot…._  
Senbonzakura paused, and continued with a creepy tone, a tone that is usually associated in horror movies,_  
Your pride……._

Byakuya gasped inwardly. What could be this 'he would regret' business?What would she do? Or what would she reveal?

"It is a threat Byakuya, I'll tell everybody here!!" she said maniacally.

"Abarai- fukutaicho, what do you think is the thing that Kuchiki- taichou will be threatened with" the motherly captain of the 4th said to the newly arrived red head.

Renji stared at the captain, he just arrived here shortly after Yoruichi had saved Ichigo's butt.  
"I don't know" Renji said

The flamboyant captain of the 8th suddenly popped out of nowhere and chirped in, "Maybe Byakuya is hiding an illegitimate child!!"

A cough can be heard then the wielder of Sougyo no Kotowari came,  
"Oh I see, I can't believe that Byakuya used his charms to lure ladies" he paused to cough "I think he is the same as…" insert cough here"… the typical good looking" some more coughing here "playboys" he ended with a cough.

After Ukitake's coughing/ statements/ more coughing, the lieutenant of the 8th smashed her captain with a leather bound book.

"Taichou, the one who would be likely to hide an illegitimate child would be you, not Kuchiki- taichou" Nanao Ise said.

"It is quite true, I think it is just embarrassing pictures" The wolfish captain of the 7th division suggested as he emerged from the bushes, as if waiting for the right time to make an entrance.

Ichigo stared at the newcomer with mouth hanging open. He is just freaking hiding in the bushes! He rubbed his eyes and look again, yep, he is still there.

"Oh I'll make tons of profit by selling those pictures!! After all Kuchiki- taichou is the hottest Shinigami in Soul Society, girls will be lining to get one!!" The booby fukutaichou of the 10th said while emerging under a rock.

Byakuya's eyes twitched at the unfolding events.  
This is crazy.

Suddenly like a scripted play the little captain of the 10th arrived,  
"Matsumoto!! There you are, finish your paperwork!" he reprimanded.

But every attention turned into another recently arrived uncalled person.  
"Maybe he is really bald" Madarame Ikkaku suggested with all his shiny and baldness glory.

"Ba---aald?" Toushirou stuttered while trying to muffle a chuckle.

(*Warning don't imagine a bald Byakuya, contents of said imaginations may cause light emotional trauma and a nervous breakdown*)

"Well I think tas' jus a wimpy secret, but I don' care, as long he'll not lose 'is strength ta kill and fight, I've been wantin' ta fight the guy" The 11th division captain said as he dismount a tree.

"Yay, and Byakushi will always said that Ken- chan is just something trivial and he doesn't need to raise his sword to the likes of Ken- chan" The candy colored haired Fukutaichou said.

"Yachiru!!" Kenpachi roared

Then on a whirl of shunpo another spectator arrived, the SMC commander,Soi Fon.  
"As expected of Yoruichi- sama, she is able to dig some filth out of Kuchiki- taichou" she said with glistening eyes.

Ichigo wanted to jump over the nearest cliff as he is watching these. These people are just watching him from the beginning and on the time when he was about to be sliced by Byakuya's evil killing flowers?

"I think that Kuchiki Byakuya is really a different specie" the creepy head of the twelfth chirped in,  
"Thinking that he is emotionless in every situation" he said with amusement,  
"Interesting, very interesting, I think I should ask him to be one of my subjects" he continued with a creepy interest.

His comment gathered odd stares, the one that is implying that-is-creepy-you-are-certainly-out-of-your-freaking-bloody-mind-dude look.

"What?" he asked with annoyance and innocently. As if he hadn't said anything weird. As if grabbing random people and opening their guts is completely normal.

Yachru thought for awhile then blurted out, "Heh~ you are.. weird!!!" then she giggled

Mayuri looked at them with disgust,

"You simpletons will never understand my Science, come Nemu let's head back, I can't stand this fools" then he shunpoed away hoping that his genius would be recognize someday.

But pal I've got news for you 'Dream on punk!!'

After the freak show Yoruichi glared at Byakuya, "What would it be Byakuya- bo?"

Byakuya after recovering from emotional shock managed to say: "Move"

Yoruichi smiled the smile that only cats are capable of and stood up,  
"Very well you left me with no choice, whaaa---" but she didn't finished Byakuya shoved her against him and grabbed her by the loose skin on her neck.

The great 6th squad captain just snapped.

"Put me down!!" Yoruichi jerked away

Byakuya ignored Yoruichi's struggles.

"Kurosaki Ichigo, you might have escaped this time, but we will meet again, mark my words, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" he said with an evil maniacal laugh, then shunpoed away leaving the Shinigami's dumbfounded in shock.

"He lost it" the 2nd division captain said, then disappeared in a haste of shunpo.

"Yeah definitely lost it" Kenpachi agreed then walked away.

"Poor guy" Unohana muttered with pity then disappeared.

Rukia after recovering shook her head,  
"That didn't just happened"

Ichigo isn't quite sure whether he is scared due to Byakuya's threats or to the fact that he is laughing.

He replayed the last scene, rewind, slow motion, pause, holy shit, he did laugh. It is the end of the world.

"Ichigo, are you okay?" Rukia said as she was snapping her fingers.

"I don't know Rukia…. I don't know…" he said in a low creepy tone.

God help these fools.

* * *

**(A/N: Did that made you laugh??? Hope it did, coz now I'm laughing my ass off!!!Whahahahahaha… thank you guys!! Please review!!!!!**

**100 reviews kudasai!!!! - ellithea)**


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